Figuring it Out: What Now

So what now? I've learned to work a camera and do my own photoshoots. Now, we work out of a studio space instead of my home. Now I can really sew and design anything I'd like. Now, I don't work for anyone but myself. Now I don't have anyone telling me what to do. Now I can be completely creative without anyone stifling my creativity. Now, what? Huh? 

Now I'm burnt out. Sleepy. Lacking energy. Craving personal time. Taking deep breaths. Hoping for miracles. Constantly in my head.

But still, I've never lead a happier existence. I don't feel this way all the time but the constant grind and hustle. You are the only person who seems to notice your own growth. 

So, I feel that it's important that I take a moment to reflect on mine. In real time:

  • So very grateful that I have made relationships with so many models and women being that I'm an introvert and an over thinker.
  • Almost one year working for myself. Unbelievable.
  • So far I've managed to have at least 6 shoots where I've done everything from styling multiple models, communicated my vision, catered to their needs, ironed, organized, lights, photography, music, edit, updated website, posted regularly, engaged with socials, made sales, packaged and delivered sales BY MYSELF!!!
  • Styled and Designed Two Fashion shows with two different lines alone.
  • I've managed to be featured on two separate occasions in the local paper.
  • Had Stylists pull my items for editorial shoots
  • Won a great for Fresh Arts with Stacey Allen
  • Maintained a beautiful relationship with my daughter
  • Been a good fiance 
  • Planned a wedding

I realized the amount of things that I've done and maintained my sanity. Now what? I feel like I should go forward with knowing that I've come a very long way. And that I'm so much more capable of doing so much more. Maybe if I take my eyes off of all the hard work it took to get here to just for a moment relish in more of the good things. The great things, the amazing things that create and develop who you are.

Sometimes its important to take a moment. Take a breath. take notes about how far you've come and how far you plan on going. Yes, there are things I could do better but right now we're focusing on growth. 

Leave a comment